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[22 Dec 2004|12:25am]

[ mood | crappy ]

people make me so angry. especially people who think that i'll drop every thing to hang out with them, and wait around for an hour in an empty parking lot out side of my work for them to come pick me up, at 11 at night.

dumb ass.

but it's okay, because i blew him off, and kicked ass in pool tonight.

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grrr [19 Dec 2004|03:08pm]

[ mood | irritated ]

I fucking hate it when people ask me, "why don't you smile?" Or say, "i never see you smile"
yeah, well...so what?
i don't say, "why don't you ever take off those stupid clothes" or, "i think you look stupid everytime you post a picture about yourself"

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[07 Dec 2004|12:19am]

[ mood | annoyed ]

god, i hate when some one with beautiful blue eyes, and a great smile, kisses me, and lies to me about not having a girlfriend.

way to go me.

(i always find the jerks)

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wish i could just say it [27 Nov 2004|02:59am]

i hate it when i'm on the phone with somebody and all they can do is fucking preach at me! i fucking hate arguing with people, i fucking hate how people can't just get it...grrrr
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[11 Nov 2004|06:41pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

Check your bad mood at the door. And if you don't, quit taking it out on me. Find someone else to breathe fire all over. It makes working with you even more unpleasnt than when you're in a good mood.

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Rant [07 Nov 2004|09:34am]

[ mood | depressed ]

This is an entry I made in my own LJ but locked for private because I did not want to hurt anyone. Would feel better if I knew someone was listening though, so ...


I HATE my job - where my probation period has been extended for another three months because I'm not meeting my sales targets. GIVE ME A BREAK - I'VE NEVER DONE SALES LIKE THIS BEFORE - AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME COACHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE the fact that I'm earning £2000 A YEAR less than in my previous job and am constantly broke and having to RELY ON SOMEONE ELSE KEEPING THEIR PROMISES to make it through the month

I HATE that the person making those promises IS NOT KEEPING THEM.

I HATE being in debt because of this.

I HATE that the someone else seems to think that just because I've been OK with it in the past I will always be OK with it. It's not my fault that you have problems of your own, but my problems have been caused by YOU NOT KEEPING YOUR PROMISES

I HATE feeling like shit all the time because I'm worrying about how I'm going to pay the bills. I've been in touch with the National Debt Line and have completed their budget sheet and I can't find any way of making my outgoings less than my basic income. I NEED the money that I've been promised. If you can't keep your promise then at least help me sort out a way of getting the money another way (lodger?). In order for me to have a lodger, I need to sort out the house. I KNOW that, but I can’t face it on my own. If you would help me over a weekend (fuck what SHE will say) then I think that we can do this together. I’ll be able to get a lodger in and I won’t be so dependent on you giving me money. I don’t think this request is unreasonable and I think it will help both of us.

I HATE that the TV licence people have sent me a refund cheque for overpayment on my TV Licence BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET THROUGH TO THEM FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS. They have a system where you get told to "phone back later" when they're busy, and don't give you the option to hold, for however long it may take. This takes away my choice to hold, even if it's for half an hour or more, and makes me keep ringing, to get the same message "all our operators are busy call back later". I DON'T WANT TO CALL BACK LATER, I WANT TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE NOW!!!

I'm at the stage today that I don't care if anyone reads my journal or not, or if the people who do read it are upset by it. I JUST DON'T CARE.

It's not as if anyone would miss me if I wasn't here.

Now I have to go the stupid job that I HATE and be nice to everyone that I talk to. I have my own problems, I don't care about yours. I'm trying to sort my life out - go do the same.

I HATE my job, I HATE my life, I HATE that my husband lied to me for years and then left me for someone else, I HATE that she's now expecting his baby, I HATE that this is the reason he can't keep his promise. I KNOW they need the money for the baby, but maybe they should have thought about how EXPENSIVE a child is before having one, maybe they should have spent the last 8/9 months preparing and gradually buying things instead of leaving it all to the last minute.

I should know better, it's not as if he's ever been good at keeping promises in the past so why should he start now. After all, if he kept his promises I wouldn't be in this position now.

OK - rant over, should just point out that SHE has now had the baby - a girl - and we're back to the same thing - "I'll have the money for you today/tomorrow." (Never happens - he's been telling me that for the last fornight now).

Don't know why I still believe him - I know he's a self-confessed habitual liar, and that he will tell me what I want to hear for as long as I want to hear it.

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to get started on a rant [07 Nov 2004|12:05am]

after four years of seeing each other...my boyfriend is moving to chicago because he's bored...but he expects me to sit around and wait for him to go...and i'm stupid enough to be going along with it so far...grrrr
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[07 Nov 2004|12:32pm]

[ mood | ashamed ]

2 weekends in a row, I get blown off by 2 different guys. Why? Fuck if I know.

The first one I asked, just plain old didn't call. Didn't apoligize for not calling and never brought up that he was supposed to call the next time I saw him.

The second one, a friend introduced us. Didn't call last weekend, or this week either. My friend saw him again last night and he told her that he didn't call. He couldn't even give a somewhat neutral 3rd party a reason he didn't call. Whenever he was asked, he just changed the subject. His decision to not call was clearly a decision he made after seeing what I looked like. I guess I'm not as cute as I thought I was. I say that because he didn't know much about me outside of my name and that I was Gemma's friend. So he can't use the "we didn't have much in common" excuse because he didn't know a damn thing about me. Evidently when I told Gemma he was too cute for a girl like me I was right.

So I'm finished believing that there is someone out there for me. This past year I've been treated like this by guys on 4 occasions, including the 2 above. It takes me a lot of courage and balls to work up to asking a guy out, and since I'm very shy, it doesn't happen very often. But every time I do ask someone out, it happens just like this.

Fuck love, fuck guys, fuck the world, and fuck my ugly ass, and fuck you steve, you dave, you ryan and especially fuck you jason. I think you might be the rudest one I've had all year.

Nobody even reads this shit.

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[03 Nov 2004|07:06pm]

I never thought I'd be this into an election, but I'm almost a little pissed that Kerry didn't win. It was so close too. I voted Kerry and he got Illinois' electorial votes, and that was all I could to to help.

So now we're going to continue to push democracy onto a country we're rebuliding which may or may not work it's best as a democracy. We'll send more troops and soldiers over seas to possibly never come back. We may see abortion outlawed. If this one happens, I'd like to see one of George Bush's daughters get raped (I'm not wishing it upon either of them...this is just a hypothetical example), become pregnant as a result of the rape, have abortion under any circumstance against the law per George Bush himself, and have George tell his daughter "nope, you have to not only carry this baby from this rape tragedy for 9 months, but you also have to give birth to it". I wonder how Cheney's lesbian daughter feels about her dad along side a man who is so anti-gay it frustrates me so much. "I support you and your life decisions honey, but I just can't let you marry another woman....the president says so"

Oh, Bush, Cheney...your repbulican buddy Alan Keyes who ran for Ilinois state senate, never lived in IL prior to campaigning, but wanted to represent IL? How does that work? And if Daughter Cheney and her life partner decide to adopt a child, or have children via another way, according to Mr. Keyes here, their children are very likely to commit incest....because if children don't know who their real parents are, how will they know? That statement has NOTHING to do with being homosexual. Straight people don't tell children who their real parents are too. It's a decision made by the parents of the adoptive/and/or/otherwise not biological children make, straight or homosexual. So go back to whatever church in whatever state you came from and preach to a croud that want's to hear about god and the bible. Just because you believe in it all doesn't mean everyone else does.
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Quicky [01 Nov 2004|01:35pm]

So I downsized my friends list today and it felt good. Nothing against those people at all, I'm just moving on and changing my ways (both consciously and sub-consciously). All of them were definitely good people, but none of us seemed to be gaining anything from sharing our journals with each other. I've been wanting to do it for some time now, but I felt as if I had a sort of obligation to hold on to them although mutually we were nearly complete strangers. Sounds silly I know, but seems like a lot of livejournal users feel that same obligation from time to time.

Anyway, wow this place has been dead for awhile. What happened?
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[20 Sep 2004|06:38pm]

If something is frustrating you or if you're in a bad mood, don't fucking take it out me next time. Thanks. Doing so just makes you more unpleasnt than you are on a "good" day.
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[10 Sep 2004|05:12am]

[ mood | pissed off ]

Fuck (insert noun here)!!!

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[19 Aug 2004|06:03pm]

[ mood | angry ]

Hurray. A new member!

That said, I'm sick of people saying they'll call, and never fucking do. I now have all my friends to add to this list. "Oh yea! I'm definitely going to have to call you to hear this!" 1 week later...she obviously didn't want to hear it too bad. Then there's the "your cell phone isn't working...I don't know what's wrong". Funny you say that...I called from my house phone, had my mom and dad call from their cell phones and had another person call. I recieved all of them.

Oh. And just when you think people will be supportive, they accuse you of starving yourself. I'm dieting and exercising now, and drink slim-fast, which should be the meal. So I make it the meal and even if I'm hungry, I don't eat because...well...that won't help me lose weight. And someone comes at me telling me to quit starving myself and who cares how much I weigh..I'm healthy. Spoken like a true skinny person. I promptly remided them that they don't know what it's like to be this weight. Even when they were pregnant they didn't weigh this much, and true I may be healthy (I don't know certian levels like choloresteral *SIW* and stuff, but will soon), but I'm not happy. And here's the kicker....they reccomended to me yogurt. "When I was trying to lose weight, I would eat a yogurt for lunch at school and then come home and eat half a sandwich for dinner". Half a sandwich and a yogurt all day and I'm starving myself? That not only pissed me off because they can't be supportive and happy for me in what I'm doing, but also because they accuse me of starving myself coming from the girl who ate what I would eat for a diet lunch, all day long. Fuck that.

I hate people.

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[19 Aug 2004|12:41pm]
Urg. wtf. some people just really piss me off. Theres not many people out there that dont make me mad. Yea. They suck.

**Shattered In Two**
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[18 Aug 2004|09:03pm]
Hello Everyone. Im new here. dont make fun of me or i will probaly cry :(.. :) I hope to make new friends! Talk to me. i promise im really open-minded
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[20 Jul 2004|08:18pm]

[ mood | angry ]

How the fuck can you stand 2 feet away from me, look right at me, and not even fucking say anything when you know what you do. Not even "hi". It's 2 letters, 1 syllable (siw).

You don't hurt me anymore. You piss me off.

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[17 Jul 2004|11:15pm]

[ mood | drunk ]

I think you let me let you me call you for the last imte asshole. Seriously.

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[06 Jul 2004|06:07pm]

[ mood | angry ]

Boys are fucking jerks.

I want you to know that you put a crack in my heart today.

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[03 Jul 2004|11:31pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

Hey Nextel, congratulations. You've done it again. Except this time my credit card had enough to cover your stupid mistake, unlike last time, when you overcharged the limit and told me there was nothing you could do about it. You hire idiot representatives.

And to you. I want to be mad at you, but your incredible good looks and previous sweetness make it hard. You better not ditch me Monday. Because I planned my whole day around you.

And you too. I've had a crush on you longer, so your oh-my-god good looks have no effect on me right now. I'm just pissed at you.

And all the people who said they'd keep me updated on their plans for the 4th of July, thanks for not doing it. Really.

I need to stop meeting new people. Because the more people I bring into my life, the more there are to fucking forget me.

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i want to shave all that back hair off of you [18 Jun 2004|12:38am]

[ mood | aggravated ]

some people need to die, or to take a vacation to a place where noone will look for them. their presense in school bothers me, just their ugly faces bother me. the way that they think that they are better than you just because they can wear dark makeup and clothes from hot topic. why can manslaughter be legal at least for one day?

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